Friday, March 03, 2006
i was expecting the outcome i was gonna have. and i tried my best to convince myself to accept the reality and i guess i did =D and i'm proud that i accepted it. sometimes some things just cannot be helped i suppose.
i don know if i'm feeling sad now. cux i think i'm really quite numb already. haiz... i was so shocked that the cut off is like 5? oh man. haiz. i feel so helpless watching ppl around me feeling sad. i wanna help but yet i feel so helpless. haha, and i cant even help myself. i feel so helpless, so useless. i try not to think. i believe that no matter what happens, i'll survive (: haiz i will miss my class o6s22! the ppl from my og and my tutorial classes and of course from my cca. oh man they make my day in nj so super fun and exciting la! hahax anyway i think i really spent my day stoning and lagging all around -.-'
when i was on my way to sch, then marcus already like msged me and told me that i wont be like staying in nj la. haha then when i reached sch, he confirmed that i was posted to ac. oh well, then i guessed i accepted it quite well la :) haha yea then after morning assembly, the principal said that our sch is partial 5 and 6 for sci and arts respectively... then i was quite shocked la, cux i tot ppl with 6 pts will at least have a chance to stay... haiz...
after that i pon everything la. i mean who will still have the mood to go for lessons? ya then first period was geog tutorial ma, then the teacher also din go cux she know sure no one will go one. lol... and she was right. aiya then i just lagged in the canteen and atrium. haha and i realised today might be my last day in nj. so sad! aiya then all those sad thoughts came into my mind but i tried to think positive la. haha :) hmmm anyway decided to go lt5 for civics. then they invited those ppl to give a talk la bout a job in the music inustry, banking and sth which i din hear cux i doze off already =X haha was very tired. then after civics went with liping to her house to get all her stuff for appeal. [hey liping cheer up k! i really hate to see u this way. i totally understand how u feel la. (: ]
hmmm anyway after that come back to sch, then i wanted to go for maths tutorial one. cux my teacher's mr tsang! haha then he msged me asked i going not cux i was already 5mins late. then i said i was on my way and i rushed there alone la! cux no one wanted to go. and i stupidly got lost. ok not lost la, jus still not very sure of the venue of the classroom. haha, and by the time i reached ta32, i rushed in and the room was EMPTY! lol and i thought i went to the wrong classroom but then its cux everyone pon la! haha =X then mr tsang called me. haha and i think he's very nice, cux i was the only one who went for his class? haha then he asked whether i still want the lesson. lol! then i said nvm. haiz and he also told me about the appeal la. yea and he was saying he will try his best to fight. but somehow i don dare to hold high hopes. haiz. the feeling of falling sucks. the feeling of gaining and then losing sucks even more. haha should i even be holding hopes now? i feel terrible. haiz. hope i'll be just fine very soon :)
yea ppl not staying isnt the end of the world. haha, parting is part of life. this is life. we can do nth to change what has happened, but we can change our future (: good luck everyone! =D
must still keep in contact with me k ppl! i will miss u all. thx for giving me such a fun time in nj =D oh and to those who cant stay, cheer up k... if u all need anyone to talk to there's me la. haha (:
when there's a will, there'll be a way~
and i'm just glad i didn't even shed a tear.