Tuesday, March 13, 2007
hmmms i finally back home. its almost 12am. haha recently im nv home before 9pm and im scared when i walk home cux my house is so super ulu. hahas =X anyway yea today was a super long day. super long......
had pa meeting, training then went make jersey and finally to tbcc to play table tennis again. so, i have summarised my day! hahas.. anyway had fun choosing the jersey la, though abit sian and draggy -.- felt so scammed by the ARCADE!!! -.- as in the shop called ARCADE. anyways cant wait to get our jerseys. cant imagine how it will turn out! heeeess... (: finally sth off my tiny mind. haizz so much stuff to settle... and this hols almost gone liaos with trainings and stuff. basically everything's bout cca =X ahhh... nvm jiayou! i can do it.
sometimes it feels so unfair. u put in so much effort. so much... yet u end up with nth. and ppl would assume u don put in any effort jus because they don see the results. they don know how much effort u have put in. they cant see it. so they assume. its the same in many cases. its always like that. probably thats why ppl say life's unfair. some ppl are just born rich while others poor. they cant change this fact. and working hard may not ensure them a comfortable life. its just so unfair.
i don want things to turn out this way. in the end im alone again. haizz... facing everything i feel so lost. maybe im just too stressed. haha. i feel so a-lone sometimes. i shut off myself from the rest of the world and start living in my own fantasy world. haha maybe one day i will really have an imaginary friend. haizz. =/ result of being too antisocial :D haha... haiz. i felt like a fool. dumb. stupid. probably the last person in the whole world. what is this feeling.. can u describe it for me... haizz. tell me how to control my feelings. feel the right way. whats right and whats wrong. =/ i feel so weird. and then i feel so guilty. i wanna feel right. right again :)
i escape from the world by watching by idol drama. it keeps me occupied and away from the world. i keep myself happy by thinking of happy stuff :D look forward to everyday with a positive attitude. im trying. :)