Tuesday, March 13, 2007
had interview today in the morning. pa interview which is quite fun i think :D hee hmmms then i left at noon to go for training. hehe today's training's fun! had friendly match. wooohooo finding back the feeling, the feel that i lost. hehe (: im quite happy! ahhh anyways i will work hard! yeps
im updating super regularly. daily? hahas anyway went to pizza hut for dinner after that. hahaha ahhh im feeling so sian. have this sinking feeling in me. i don feel like doing anything planning anything feeling anything cux im failing in everything. everything i do, everything i try to plan everything i try to feel. hahas. but im not sad la. its a weird feeling. maybe this is jus not a great period of my life. bleaghs. feel like sinking. i feel like slping and never wake up. sometimes i really feel that my existence is just so redundant. my feelings and thoughts dont matter. my actions arent appreciated. my worrying is extra. am i being overly sensitive? i think i am. or rather im quite sure i am. worrying unnecessarily. getting hurt unnecessarily. i so wish this sinking feeling would go away. so many things seem to not go the way i want them to.
im sorry. i know i shouldnt feel this way. prob happy prob jumping with joy. i want to feel this way too. but my heart doesnt permit me to. i really want to. i don know whats this feeling. i should be happy should be touched. should be. haiz.. im so sorry. i cant make u feel better cux i cant make myself feel that way too. im sorry. even dreams coordinate with my feelings.
hei se you mo.
i am ok. cux i want to be :D i will be fine. don worry! hees
tears. let me sink. all the way. then i can feel the lift up. a stretch out hand to pull me up (: